NEW SECTION: Top Movies 10/1/10

This time last year I started working with my dear friend, and mentor, film and TV critic Candace Havens as her personal assistant. After some time attending screenings for her, she encouraged me to pursue entertainment writing. By March of this year I had a syndicated soap opera column, and by July I was writing for 3 high-profile Dallas film sites. I was learning to balance my day job with Fresh Fiction with my love of movie and TV writing. But I was also facing a new challenge. Each passing week I would see more movies than I could possibly write long-form articles about. I wanted to keep seeing them, and I needed to write more about them than just 140 character Tweets.

So, I decided to start a new section on ReelVixens. I'm going to put up some short blurbs about the movies I see each week and tell you why I think you need to head to your local Cinemark or Angelika (my theaters of choice) that weekend.

Let's jump right in shall we?? Movies are listed in my own, completely partial order. And yes, where relevant, I will also rate the movies based on their beard representation.

1) THE SOCIAL NETWORK
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield (le swoon!!), and Justin Timberlake...among others
Director: David Fincher
Writer: Aaron Sorkin

The movie takes place from fall of 2003 through 2005, and is told through flashbacks while Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) is in litigation for two different lawsuits--one between he and his best friend Eduardo (Andrew Garfield, Never Let Me Go) and the other with the Winklevoss twins (Armie Hammer, "Gossip Girl") who claim Zuckerberg stole the idea for his site. The writing is stellar, and I believe that if this movie doesn't get nominated for writing there is something wrong in this world. The movie is over two hours, but it moves so quickly. Eisenberg fully embodies the character, and it's hard to see where he ends and Zuckerberg begins. Garfield is the heart that the movie needs, since the majority of the characters in it are so self-absorbed that they can't see past themselves. He definitely steals the movie.

And then there is Justin Timberlake. He plays the notorious Napster founder Sean Parker who comes onto help Facebook venture past a site for college students and into the phenom it is today. Timberlake's evolution through Parker's at one moment calm and charming character to a dark and paranoid wannabe is incredible. He's been trying to make an acting name for himself for so many years, and this is really the role he needed.

2) LET ME IN
Starring: Chloe Moretz, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Richard Jenkins, and Elias Koteas
Director: Matt Reeves
Writer: Matt Reeves
Plot: A bullied young boy befriends a young female vampire who lives in secrecy with her guardian. Based on the book and 2008 Swedish film "Let the Right One In."

Many people are going to compare it to the original film, which I watched this weekend also and loved. I think both movies stand on their own though. The original is much more visually stunning, while "Let Me In" simplifies the story more. It is more mainstream, embraces gore and violent feeding scenes, while still allowing the story to unfold slowly for the audience. The original left a lot of details ambiguous, where the remake goes deeper and focuses not only on the two children, but also the characters around them. Abby (Chloe Moretz, Hitgirl from Kick-Ass) and Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee) had great chemistry and truly embodied their characters. I think Chloe's experience in Kick-Ass really helped her play the 12-year old vampire. While the movie isn't perfect, it's a great American horror movie and a very engaging and exciting vampire movie.

3) HATCHET II
Starring: Danielle Harris, Tony Todd, Kane Hodder
Director: Adam Green
Writer: Adam Green

Plot: Marybeth (Danielle Harris) escapes the clutches of the deformed, swamp-dwelling iconic killer Victor Crowley. After learning the truth about her family's connection to the hatchet-wielding madman, Marybeth returns to the Louisiana swamps along with an army of hunters to recover the bodies of her family and exact the bloodiest revenge against the bayou butcher. Sequel to HATCHET (2006)

This was hands down one of the more violent torture porns I have seen in years. (That was until I saw the remake of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE--but that's for next week). I think I only watched half the movie, because the other half I listened to with my eyes closed. It is definitely a gross-out movie and takes what the original did to new extremes. I love Adam Green (FROZEN, HATCHET, SPIRAL) movies, and fans of his will really get a kick out of it. It's funny and gory all at the same time--typical Adam Green. There isn't much plot, just a basic revenge film. Marybeth wants revenge for Crowley killing her family, and Crowley wants revenge for his father's death. Some may argue that the kills didn't really go far enough, but I say that those people are fucked in the head.

I also counted two beards--so bonus points for that

Oh, and Lloyd Kaufman makes a funny cookie-eating cameo. So, fellow Troma fans should go for that alone.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE Review

Our good friends over at Big Fan Boy originally published this review. Go check out their site, because they are awesome!

As I’m just now getting my hearing back and my heart has finally stopped racing, I guess it is as good of a time as any to nail down my thoughts on the newest TWILIGHT SAGA movie. It may be too ambitious for me to jump right in and declare my undying love for Jasper…oh wait, I mean ECLIPSE (Jasper is a character, not a movie! Get your hormones in check Reyes!). But I’ve never been one to do what is expected of me. I’m an adult and I love/hate Stephanie Meyers’ TWILIGHT SAGA, that’s just something you need to know about me.

The two previous films, TWILIGHT and NEW MOON, bring out a certain level of 16 year-old girl in me that is not always pretty. I live in a magical world full of unicorns and cupcakes when I watch these movies, simply due to their engaging nature. I imagine what it would be like to live in Forks, Washington straddling the werewolf and vampire boundaries, tied to both sides by my love for two men. And just before our final, epic kiss/battle/death match I come crashing back to reality. Let’s be honest, this is a make-believe world for teens, and I’m no longer a teen.

Walking into ECLIPSE I had the same sickening feeling in my stomach when NEW MOON finished—the feeling that this movie was actually TRYING to be good. It no longer embraced the camp, and instead favored the serious. It didn’t work for me in NEW MOON, but ECLIPSE is a different story entirely. This time around I went with it and was rewarded with a guilty pleasure that I’m not ashamed to admit to everyone I really liked.

The recently reunited Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson) are relaxed and incredibly comfortable with each other, a level of comfort we hadn’t seen in the previous movies. Yes, wolfy Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is still trying to win Bella’s affection, but he (and any TWILIGHT fan) knows that Bella belongs with Edward. It doesn’t stop him from brooding around and breaking stuff when he gets mad after learning that Bella loves both him and Edward. But unlike the book versions of these characters, Jacob and Edward both allow Bella to choose who she wants. Brownie points for that.

Director David Slade (30 DAYS OF NIGHT, HARD CANDY) brings another positive element to the saga—the visualization of the fan-favorite vampire army battle. I won’t go into too much detail, since there is something to be said for an intense fight scene, but trust me when I say even guys who are tricked into seeing this movie will be pleased. The special effects and action in that final scene are fantastically choreographed and amazingly satisfying. It was a moment even the most arduously judgmental Twi-hard will admit matched the book’s fervor.

I’m not saying that I love these movies because they are great works of sweeping romance and Oscar-worthy writing and acting, that would be laughable and a lie. I love them because they are so campy, cheesy, and downright hilarious that it’s impossible not to like them. If you go in ready to enjoy the next 2 hours full of teen angst and acting only a termite would love, then you are already in the right place.

And just so you know I’ve NEVER made a TEAM JASPER shirt. Okay, I totally have.

Trailer Time: KANE

The good people at Singletree Productions make some hilarious films. I had the chance to meet Mark Potts and Brand Rackley during their stay in Dallas for the 2010 Dallas International Film Festival where they were showing their hairy short FOLLICLE FROLIC. For all my fellow hair lovers, it's pretty sweet.

However, the highlight of my time with these two gentlemen was watching a cut of a fake trailer they made for a remake of CITIZEN KANE. So, now that they have released the clip to the masses, it is my duty to share it too!

Check it out! And then hop over to Youtube and watch it again!

Nerdy Cinema: Sex and The City 2

I’m going to say something that 90% of women my age always say: “I grew up watching ‘Sex and the City.’” It’s not a shocking or even an informative statement, it’s as expected as saying “I drink coffee” or “yes, one day I would like to get married.” The show is a part of our consciousness as women, and therefore it’s a part of all of us. We have all sat together on the couch or at brunch, confessing which SATC girl we each identify as (I’m a Miranda and a Samantha (Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall), FYI), and assuring our one friend that it’s okay to be a Charlotte (Kristin Davis). We all bought the books, the DVD sets, and even those stupid Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) inspired name necklaces—and let me tell you, it’s incredibly hard to find anything with the name Gwen on it. We hated the bad boyfriends and loved the good. Don’t even get me started on my extreme discomfort with Post-It notes (“I’m sorry, I can’t”). Ultimately, SATC shaped who we are, acted as a role model and sexual guide, and constantly lived up to its own hype.

Now having said that, the movies are an entirely different monster. Yes, just as much as we loved the show we anticipated the theatrical release of the first SEX AND THE CITY movie. It was 4 years in the making, and it felt like not a moment had gone by. The movie was a hit, even if the women we loved were changed. They were older, established, and more dream-like than the show ever portrayed them as. They were no longer the women we were, they were women we wanted to be. And that separated them from us, made us voyeurs and coveters of a lifestyle we could never have, and it worked in the first movie.

Not so much in the sequel. SEX AND THE CITY 2 had everything I loved about the first movie: beautiful clothes, beautiful men, and those 4 ladies who are each a part of me. However it took all the horrible elements of the first film (overt materialism, ridiculous relationship issues, and disgusting stereotyping) and pumped the volume up to eleven. I was often insulted and uncomfortable throughout the film.

It opens strong, reintroducing all the characters to us and even offering a glimpse at how each woman made their ways into Carrie Bradshaw’s life. We head off to a whimsical gay wedding between Carrie and Charlotte’s “best gays” Stanford and Anthony (Willie Garson and Mario Cantone). The wedding was hands down one of the best parts of the movie. It’s just unfortunate that it happens 15 minutes in. While there, Carrie and Mr. Big (Chris Noth) are asked by another couple if they plan to have children. This question is an easy answer for them both – no, it’s just not their thing. However, what is Carrie’s thing is attacking Big by declaring their new marriage boring and lacking “sparkle” once they return home from the wedding weekend. She is overwhelmed by insecurities in her marriage and worries that they have to spend the years as just the two without any glamor or excitement. Quelle horror!! A marriage that is comfortable and loving, I don’t really see a problem.

So, as a distraction from their lives, Samantha presents each of our ladies with an all-expenses paid trip to the uber-conservative Abu Dhabi. Once again, an excellent chance for the movie to reflect on real issues (Western and Eastern cultures colliding), however this falls even flatter than Carrie’s made-up drama over her marriage. This time it’s the highly sexual Samantha baring her shoulders and legs in front of traditional Muslims and then dismissing their culture. For a woman who is supposed to be the non-judgey one, Samantha’s lack of respect was a complete shift in character— a shift that comes off uneducated and bigoted. Badly done, Michael Patrick King, badly done.

I won’t even get into the ridiculously priced clothing, because that would just be a low blow. But if King’s intention was to give recession-minded women a taste of glamor, it comes off more ill-minded than CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC.

It’s a little heartbreaking for me to admit, but if this is what we are supposed to expect for this franchise, then I think the movies have run their course. I know that ladies, just like me, will go see this movie multiple times in the theater and even buy the DVD in six months, but I truly think I’d rather snuggle up with the series box-set. Yes, SEX AND THE CITY 2, that was your Post-It note.

Why, Zach Galifianakis, Why?

Saturday Night Live this weekend had the opportunity of a lifetime as beard-tastic host Zach Galifianakis took over hosting duties. He is exceptionally funny, as you undoubtedly already know if you are reading this, and his beard is something I want around 24/7.

Unfortunately he blatantly chose to ignore my (and my fellow beardophiles') decoration of love and shaved his beard for the last segment. I honestly think he is testing us.

Anyway, I posted some of the best sketches from last night...in case you haven't already seen them!

His opening monologue was great, even if we've already heard some of the jokes on his DVD.



Digital Short: Zach Drops By The Set



My QOTD: "But is there a rollaway bidet?"



The Beard Destruction



More SNL videos

Sweet Briar College English Professor, Eleanor Salotto, MISSING

This is more of a personal and serious post. My favorite and most influential professor from college, Eleanor Salotto, has been missing since Thursday (2/12). She was last seen in Lynchburg, VA wearing a lavender baseball cap, lavender sweater with a red shirt underneath, black pants, and tennis shoes.

Eleanor Salotto was one of my Film Studies professors at Sweet Briar College who taught me to love film passionately, and I often ask myself: "what would Eleanor say here?" If you know anything about Eleanor Salotto's whereabouts, please contact the Lynchburg Emergency Communications Center at (434) 847-1602 or the Lynchburg Police Department at (434) 455-6041.

Eleanor Salotto's Missing Person's Report

NERDY CINEMA: Jared’s Top Ten of 2009

This is a post from our sister site NerdyPerv. Since we love movies, we thought we'd share Jared's list. Enjoy! Leave comments if you want to argue....

A Quick Disclaimer: Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this. I had to wait until the rest of 2009’s movies trickled down to Houston (I swear we’re the anus of the cinematic release system). So, here are my top ten movies of 2009…

10. THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS – Dr. Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) and Mr. Nick (Tom Waits) continue their infinite battle; this time the wager is the first to capture 5 souls, with Parnassus’ daughter (Lily Cole) being the prize and imagination the battleground. Along the way they find a stranger (Heath Ledger, in his final role), who decides to help them with their traveling sideshow, but is it for good or evil? Terry Gilliam has a way of taking a simple conflict (in this case, good vs. evil) and using fantastic imagery to tell the tale. The last 30 minutes are a barrage of symbolism, which I can’t get enough of as a fan of film. Favorite Scene: The first meeting between Parnassus and Mr. Nick.

9. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER – Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) dates Summer (Zooey Deschanel) for 500 days and consequently breaks up with her (spoiler alert?). The movie is an account of their relationship and the steps Tom goes through to cope with the end of it. An original love story in 2 main ways: 1) It skips around different days just like one would in remembering a relationship, and 2) It’s from a guy’s perspective, breaking the traditions of romantic comedies. Summer’s not necessarily a bad person, but the movie is biased because Tom is biased. No one ever wants to admit it when they both fail at it, but we have to come to that understanding sometime, including Tom. Favorite Scene: The morning after Tom sleeps with Summer and bursts into a musical number (thus making me conclude that Hall & Oates in the soundtrack never fails…they are the bacon of movie soundtracks).

8. THE ESCAPIST – Released in 2008, this British gem finally made its way stateside last year. Frank (Brian Cox) is in his 60s and has been in prison for quite sometime, content to pay the penalty for his crimes. But when he gets word that his only daughter is dying, he decides to break out in order to see her one last time. The movie starts with the escape and cuts back to the plotting done by Frank and his crew. First-time director Rupert Wyatt has put himself on the map with a gritty and suspenseful caper-type drama that is built around a stellar performance by Brian Cox, and a twist that ends the film on a peaceful and poignant note. Favorite Scene: The ending.

7. MOON– With 3 weeks left to go on his rotation at a lunar mining station, Sam (Sam Rockwell) starts to experience unusual circumstances, leading him to realize that he’s not alone on this rock and that he’s part of a corporate underlying that’s been occurring for years. This movie is all about Rockwell’s performance and conveying the mind-trip his character endures should have garnered him more acclaim. A great debut from director Duncan Jones; uses models for exterior shots when Sam leaves the station, which gives the film a special nuance. Very original and very intriguing. Favorite Scene: Sam goes to fix a harvester and comes to a disturbing realization.

6. UP – In my opinion, Pixar’s best movie to date. It has adult-oriented themes to build the characters but doesn’t make it too much for kids to handle. Carl Fredricksen (voiced by Ed Asner) misses his wife terribly. When city planners want to tear down his house, he realizes that he intends to fulfill the promise of going to South America he made to her before her passing, and does so by an intricate carrier system: balloons. As he makes his way through the sky, he finds a boy scout on his porch named Russell (voiced by Jordan Nagai), who just wants to earn his “Helping the Elderly” badge. The movie’s design are vibrant and colorful, balancing out the dull emotions that Carl has since his wife’s death. Carl and Russell embark on a whirlwind adventure and realize they need each other to help heal the holes in their lives. Favorite Scene: Rescuing Kevin (I laugh every time Russell slides along the glass…it lasts just long enough to make it hilarious).

5. AWAY WE GO – Sam Mendes’ first shot at making a comedy is incredibly on the mark. Burt (John Krasinski ed's note: Gwen's love) and Verona (Maya Rudolph) are having a baby, but want to search for a better environment to raise it. They embark on a road trip, trekking to various cities that friends/relatives reside, trying to find the perfect place to settle. All too often in a movie, it’s the main couple who have their separate issues and it gets in the way of their relationship. Burt and Verona get along and have a fantastic relationship. They just want a better place to raise their kid. Mendes uses his trademark of soft tones to film this movie, but is very lighthearted and made me laugh a whole lot more than I expected. Favorite Scene: Burt and Verona visit Burt’s hippie relatives.

4. PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL 'PUSH' BY SAPHIRE – Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) is a teenager growing up in ‘80s Harlem, is pregnant with her second child by her father, and is constantly abused by her mother (Mo’nique). She wants to make her life better, and doesn’t know how until she starts going to an alternative teaching school. Before I saw this movie, I thought it had the framework of a melodrama, and Precious’ issues would be knocked aside for the “happy ending”. I was completely taken aback by how raw it was and that it didn’t pull punches. I loved the use of editing involved when something disheartening would happen to Precious, cutting to a happy place that she envisioned her life should be. It’s dramatic to be sure, with several emotional punches to the gut, but Lee Daniels’ direction and the fine acting involved made this a well-done and artistic film. Favorite Scene: Precious is finally on her own.

3. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS – A complete retelling of world history, I didn’t care. The movie is fantastically outlandish and a lot of fun. The movie is centered on two stories in Nazi-occupied France: one being the American-Jewish vengeance group called the Basterds (as dubbed by the Nazi party), the other focuses on a woman trying to escape from the brutal slaying of her family. The Basterds, led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), are to do one thing: kill some Nazis. The Basterds devise a plan to kill the heads of the Nazi party, and Shoshanna (Melanie Laurent) devises a plan to kill everyone, especially the man who killed her family, Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz). Tarantino’s film has a lot of style and verve, complete with his trademark tongue-in-cheek humor and homage to cinema. Favorite Scene: Shoshanna gets the last laugh.

2. UP IN THE AIR – Simplistic in its story, yet complex in its characters, I greatly enjoyed the subtlety of this movie. Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) lives to travel for his job. Anything permanent is a hindrance…he even wrote a book about it. However the emergence of two women in his life, a love interest in Alex (Vera Farmiga) and an apprentice in Natalie (Anna Kendrick), have made him question the counter productivity his life represents thus far. I loved the camerawork Jason Reitman used, which interpreted the characteristics involved within Bingham. The acting and screenplay were honest and real, and that’s all you could ask for in a movie. Favorite Scene: Natalie uses her system for the first time
on the road.

1. THE HURT LOCKER – An original, engaging thriller revolving around an Army bomb technical unit (Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty) and its volatile leader Sgt. Will James (Jeremy Renner). They know that they need to stick together as unknown situations arise, but James is more focused on the rush and the addiction disposing bombs has developed within him. Even though the film is set in Iraq, it doesn’t go into political agenda. It focuses on the film itself and the life or death situations that can impact a soldier. Kathryn Bigelow’s direction is tight and tense, relaying the suspense of whether or not an explosion will end their lives. Cutting from the situation to various Iraqi citizens also implants the possibility of enemies nearby, and adds to the suspense ten-fold. A brilliant film and one I’ll watch repeatedly. Favorite Scene: The sniper stand-off.